Yesterday I met people who come from different backgrounds than I do, and it made me question the concept of education (which reminds me of J1 GP lessons omg I miss school so much). Yknow those people who grow up in the heartlands and go to less-than-perfect neighbourhood schools, who supposedly receive lesser education both in their homes and schools, who don't speak good english, whose grades aren't "good enough" to make it big in life? Yet these people are the pragmatic, street-smart ones; who know how to survive through life's challenges, to do hands-on things like fixing faulty machinery. The supposedly more educated people who it make it bigger in life, on the other hand, don't know shit about faulty machinery and call up others who will fix things up for them. And I guess I fall into this group of people who don't know shit about faulty machinery. I can't even do household chores like cook or wash laundry even though I'm 19 and a girl. Which brings about my questioning of the concept of education. All those ancient Greek philosopher theories about education making us greater people - does education really make us greater people? The environment Singapore breeds in making everyone compete to do well in the education system, the stress and emphasis on exam grades and university entry - all to "make it big" in life. But at the end of the day who will really survive and succeed in life and this competitive environment? At the end of the day, which type of education (paper chase-wise or the hands-on practical approach) is better? At the end of the day, who will be the ones leading fulfilled lives? I'm not criticising anyone or anything, I'm really just questioning the concept of education and the values it brings.

I stumbled upon this person's formspring, and in response to a question on why she didn't major in Lit, she said "impractical & i don't have the luxury of following my heart, need to feed myself in the future". Felt sad when I saw this, realised this is me regarding Anthro when I saw this. Though not entirely, because if I had money I would have gone to do Anthro in UK in a heartbeat. Because I am way too idealistic and I got over the whole Anthro-being-irrelevant phase last year. But still, I totally get this thing about not following one's dreams because they're too impractical and irrelevant in this competitive society we live in, which places so much fucking emphasis on profit-making and development and being relevant & pragmatic. And I think it's sad, how many people lose or give up their dreams somewhere along the way. Due to practicality. And I guess some people get over this, just as easily as they get over heartbreak and life's challenges. But then there are people like me, who dream and who are idealistic. And people like me don't get over things easily, or get over heartbreak easily.

I've been listening to Death Cab the past few days and falling in love with their songs even more. Death Cab has always been my favourite, there's no doubt about that and my love for them remains the same. But in some weird way I'm falling in love with their music even more, no matter how unimpressed I was with their concert. It's like, now that I've heard Ben Gibbard singing these songs live, I feel more connected to the songs and Ben Gibbard's emotions? Like these Death Cab songs I've heard a thousand times before are no longer just like those other songs I've heard a thousand times before, but they become songs I've heard live before and I feel the emotions in them on a compeletely new level. And Death Cab songs have never been sadder and Ben Gibbard's life has never been sadder. Styrofoam Plates is one of the saddest songs ever, just saying.

Uni applications are a bitch and while I'm horribly annoyed that Anthro and UK will never work out, I think I'm quite lucky that I always knew what I wanted to do and that I have options in FASS even though it's not quite my dream. Also feeling lucky that I did okay enough for FASS. Because if I didn't, I really don't know what else I could do in SG. Anyway, I swear I would study my whole life if I could. Study things I love, that is. Everyone around me is apprehensive about uni and having to study again but i'm so fucking excited about going to uni to finally study things I love again. Also, I really just wanna learn things my whole life. Can't see myself working at all, it's like the only thing I know how to do is study (This is such a contradiction to my point above about education, but sue me, I really like learning and I'm not even interested in "making it big in life" anyway). Wonder if I could take different undergrad degrees, so that when I finally earn some money after my first degree, I could study Anthro for 3-4 years as opposed to 1 lousy Master's year hmmmmmmm. Oh yes I was looking at Lit modules the other day, and I was amazed at how interested I was by them. Then I realised the reason I liked those modules is because I get to learn about different societies and peoples and time periods in Lit. That's why I liked Wide Sargasso Sea while everyone else hated it in jc. That's why I liked sec 3-4 Lit with To Kill A Mockingbird & A Raisin In The Sun. Everything I like goes back to Anthro :( And no matter how miffed I am that Anthro and UK aren't working out for now, I'm just gonna trust that God has a plan for me and be okay with whatever life deals me (HAHAHA Daphne just told me this on twitter: "You and your sentimentalism and fate and everything!"). Was also considering Yale-NUS cos they have Anthro as a major (!!!!) but uni applications are really such a mother bitch and they probably won't want me :(

The only thing in life I'm looking forward to apart from uni starting (in August jaiodjoinqonremmq) is Vienna in April! If everything works out. Crossing my fingers and hoping that Vienna works out for real. Because God knows how much I'd love to travel to Europe and explore and get lost in all its beauty and wonder :(

3:03 PM;